Just Joking 3

Tawagin na lang natin syang si Super Isko!

"Isko" is a  Filipino nickname for Francisco.. 

A boy named Isko was very sad in his class.. 

The teacher asked, "Isko what is your problem?" 

Isko answered, "I'm too smart for the first-grade. My sister is in the third grade and I'm smarter than she is. I think I should be in the third-grade too!" 

The teacher had enough. She took Isko to the principal's office. While Isko waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told the teacher he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of the questions he was to go back to the first-grade and behave. She agreed. 

Isko was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test. 

Principal: "What is 3 x 3 ?" 
Isko: "9". 

Principal: "What is 6 x 6 ?" 
Isko: "36" 

And so it went with every question the principal thought a third-grade should know. 

The principal looks at the teacher and tells her, "I think Isko can go to the third-grade." 

Teacher says to the principal, "I have some of my own questions. Can I ask him?" 

The principal and Isko both agreed. 

Teacher asks, "What does a cow have four of and that I have only two of? 
Isko: After a moment, " Legs." 

Teacher: What is in your pants that you have but I do not have? 
Isko: " Pockets " 

Teacher: What starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?
Isko: Coconut 

Teacher: What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky? 
The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer, Isko was taking charge. 

Isko: Bubblegum 

Teacher: What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs? 

The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer.... 
Isko: Shake hands 

Teacher: Now I will ask some "Who am I" sort of questions, Okay? 
Isko: Yep. 

Teacher: You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do. 
Isko: Tent 

Teacher: A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first.. 
The principal was looking restless, a bit tense and took one large Jack Danielpeg. 
Isko: Wedding Ring 

Teacher: I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow me, you feel good.
Isko: Nose 

Teacher: I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver. 
Isko: Arrow 

Teacher: What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' that means lot of heat and excitement? 
Isko: Firetruck 

Teacher: What starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' and if you don't get it, you have to use your hand. 
Isko: Fork 

Teacher: What is it that all men have one. It's longer on some men, than others, the pope doesn't use his and a man gives it to his wife after they're married ? 
Isko: SURNAME 

Teacher: What part of the man has no bone but has muscles, has lots of veins, like pumping, and is responsible for making love ? 
Isko: HEART 

The principal breathed a sigh of relief and said to the Teacher: 

"Send this boy to Harvard University !! Even I got the last ten questions wrong myself!"

The coward from Tondo walks ater the talk

Sen. Villar tried to defend himself from his colleagues' accusations over the C5 controversy. He proudly said "walang pong duwag na taga-Tondo". The senator from Las Pinas could not be referring to himself because he quickly left the hall and refused to be interpellated. He did not walk the talk. He walked after the talk.

Villar denied the charges and refused to recognize the committee that handles the case. He presented data that obfuscate the issues already made clear and simple by Monsod. He could have salvaged some public sympathy had he answered questions credibly. Perhaps he simply doesn't have the answers.

"You can have all the facts and figures, all the supporting evidence, all the endorsement that you want, but if you don't command trust, you won't get anywhere", said Niall FitzGerald, former chairman of Unilever, as quoted by Stephen Covey in his book The Speed of Trust: The One Thing that Changes Everything.  This is what Villar has been reduced to - an untrusted candidate that won't go anywhere. As Gandhi once said, "the moment there is suspicion about a person's motives, everything he does becomes tainted."

The people will not vote for the beneficiary of the C-5 anomaly

Nakaligo ka na ba sa gitna ng basura

Nagpasko ka na ba sa gitna ng kalsada

yan ang tanong namin

tunay ka bang isa sa amin

 Si Money Bili-yar dapat lang ibasura

Dinoble niya ang budget sa iisang kalsada

yan ang alam namin

ayaw lang niyang aminin

Villar benefited tremendously from C5

Prof. Winnie Monsod's Inquirer column last Jan. 30 objectively looks at the C5 anomaly using official documents available. Her conclusion:

"Villar benefited tremendously from the second project."

In a Q&A form, the column asks what is the involvement of Villar in CX-5 and LPPLP? Sen. Villar conceptualized and funded the CX-5 Project. Villar also had insertions and amendments to his pork barrel CX-5 and LPPLP. He also proposed amendments to the 2008 budget, including a P400-million appropriation for the CX-5.

She also asks were the Villar properties bought for road right-of-way overpriced? Her findings: The Villar/related properties has weighted average of P7,168/sqm while non-Villar properties cost P1,880/sqm.

So why is Dolphy vouching for Villar's integrity? He is a comedian. He is joking, right?

My women's tennis album 25 - Patty Schnyder

Yesterday's women's finals at the Australian Open had some dramatic momentum swings between Serena Williams and Justine Henin. Serena eventually won but to some tennis fans, it lacked the sexy element brought by the tennis glamor girls.

We turn back to Patty Schnyder. Enjoy her photos before she totally slips off the ranks.