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Erap to Cardinal: Hanggang ngayon galit pa ang simbahan sa akin. This is unfair.
Cardinal: Why did you say that?
Erap: Mayroong Sabado de GLORIA, Sagrado de CORAZON, at Domingo de RAMOS. Bakit ako wala??? Eh, I was also a President!
Cardinal (after a careful thought): OK, from now on, yours is ASS Wednesday!
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Erap dreamed that he died and went to heaven. St. Peter gave him Ai-ai delas Alas as partner, saying, 'Kung mabait ka sana , mas maganda ang partner mo.'
Erap saw Chavit with Gretchen Barretto and said, 'Bakit si Chavit, mas madaming kasalanan, si Gretchen ang partner?'
St. Peter: Hijo, parusa yan kay Gretchen.
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Why did Erap shoot his wife when he bought a house?
Because the contract reads: 'Execute all 3 copies together with your wife...'