Acronyms ulit?

Have you noticed why there is often CHAOS in the office? It's because the (Chief Has Arrived On Scene). Everyone PANICs because they are (Pressured and Not In Control).

They deal with people from Infrastructure Development and Information Operations Technology Systems (IDIOTS). Working with them is no PICNIC because the (Problem's In Chair, Not in Computer).

Those people are Database Utility Management Builders (DUMB), Application Software Systems, Hardware and Online Links Encoders (ASSHOLES), and They Have Insufficient Cerebral Knowledge (THICK).

Is it because of the Mean Assholes Needlessly Attracting Generally Everyone's Resentment (MANAGERs) who give them STRESS (Shit To Remember Every Single Second)? Or because of the software which causes Lots Of Trouble, Usually Serious, Not Outstanding, This Expensive Software (LOTUS NOTES) and IT Blames Microsoft, While Expecting Breakdown, So Plead Help for Everyone to Reduce Errors (IBM WEBSPHERE).

But still people work as a TEAM because (Together Everyone Achieves More), and they have PRIDE (Personal Responsibility In Delivering Excellence) in themselves.

And people believe in YAHOO! (You Always Have Other Options) like GOOGLE (God’s Other Online Gateway Linking Electronically).

White hair chronicles LXVII - Acronyms pa rin!

The nostalgia brought by UPCAT and school acronyms lingers. I remember acronyms shared over inuman sessions then. As those drinking sessions were ever smoke-filled, drinkers thought of what the cigarette brands really mean. And here are the cheesy acronyms:

• CAMEL - Can A Man Ever Love?
• CHESTERFIELD - Come Home Every Saturday To Eat Ripe Fruit In Every Lonely Day
• HOPE - Hold Onto Prayer Everyday
• MARLBORO - Man Always Remembers Love Because of Romance Only

After a few bottles, the cheesy, romantic acronym discussions will turn to foreign places:

• BURMA - Between Us, Remember Me Always.
• CANADA - Cute And Naughty Action that Develops into Attraction
• CHINA - Come Here I Need Affection
• EGYPT - Everything's Great, You Pretty Thing!
• FRANCE - Friendships Remain And Never Can End
• INDIA - I Nearly Died In Adoration.
• ITALY - I Trust And Love You
• JAPAN - Just Always Pray At Night
• HOLLAND - Hope Our Love Lasts And Never Dies
• KENYA - Keep Everything Nice Yet Arousing
• KOREA - Keep Optimistic Regardless of Every Adversity
• LIBYA - Love Is Beautiful, You Also
• RUSSIA - Romance Under the Sky & Stars is Intimate Always
• YEMEN - 'Yugyugan' Every Morning, Every Night

Of course, local spots are just acronyms, too:

• BALIWAG - Beauty And Love I Will Always Give
• CEBU - Change Everything But Us
• IMUS - I Miss U Sweetheart
• MALABON - May A Lasting Affair Be Ours Now
• MANILA - May All Nights Inspire Love Always
• PARANAQUE - Please Always Remain Adorable, Nice And Quiet Under Ecstacy
• PASAY - Pretty And Sexy Are You
• PASIG - Please Always Say I'm Gorgeous
• TONDO - Tonight's Our Night Dearest One

And it will get hotter:

• PHILIPPINES - Pump Hard. I Love It! Please! Please! I Need Erotic Stimulation

A few more bottles and the talks will turn naughty. Here's a supposed coded message of OFWs returning home. The husband will just say PLDT in the voice tape. And it means:

• PLDT - P*ki Linis Dating T*ti

The joke continues - the wife in turn, will telegraph just one coded word, BPI, which means:

• BPI - Bilis, P*ki Inip

Then the discussions will focus on the print on the amber bottle.

• SAN MIGUEL PALE PILSEN BOTTLED BY - Sa Aming Nayon May Isang Gago Uminom, Eh Lasing. Pati Ako Lasing Eh, Pati Ikaw Lashing, So Eng Nangyari Bawat Order, Trouble Trouble Lashing Eh! Di Ba? Yahhh! 

Of course, the word acronym is just another acronym:

• ACRONYM - A Coded Reduction Of Names, Yielding Meanings