Just joking 4

REPORTER: Sir, kung wala po kayong evidence, witness or suspect ano na po ang next step ninyo??
POLICE: DNA na...
REPORTER: sir, ano po yung DNA ???
POLICE: "Di Namin Alam "

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Pacquiao: honey, buksan mo na yung sweets.
Jinky : lambing mo talaga. mwah !! nasan ang sweets honey?
Pacquiao: yung sweets ng ilaw. di ako makakita… ang dilim!!

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Sa isang mumurahing airline:
STEWARDESS: Sir, would you like some dinner?
PASSENGER: Ano ba ang mga choices?
STEWARDESS: 'Yes' or 'No' lang po

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Freddie and Manny heart to heart talk
Manny: Pare, ba't naman hanggang ngayon wala ka pang syota? Wala ka pa bang napupusuan?
Freddie: Meron... Manhid ka lang!

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HOST: Ano po ang maipaglilingkod ko sa inyo?
TANDA: Pwede ho bang manawagan?
HOST: Ilang taon na po kayo?
TANDA: 98 y/o na po ako.
HOST: Wow! Ang tanda nyo na pala! O, sige po... manawagan na kayo.
TANDA: Itay, umuwi na kayo! Hindi na nagagalit si Lolo sa inyo!

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you is!
you is!
you is!
-sigaw ni Aling Dionisia pagdating sa Amerika..
Andito na Ako sa 'you is!'

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sa isang Birthday Party
Aling Dionisia: Blue!!!
                   Blue the Kick!!!!

White hair chronicles XXI - My Sharona singer dead at 57

The Knack lead singer Doug Fieger, who co-wrote the 1979 hit My Sharona, has died at age 57 after battling cancer for 5 years. The song was the biggest hit of 1979 with its easily recognizable and superb bass riff. I think this is their only song that made it big time but it is enough to cement their legacy in rock and roll history.

Back in the '70's, My Sharona plus other punk/new wave songs, were a welcome respite for teenagers who were turned off by disco music.

Fierer co-wrote the song when he was about 27. He was inspired by 16-year Sharona, making him a sort of DOM. Somebody like that is surely a jail bait (see photo). She would make a white hair chronicler a DOM too.

Have we lost that lovin' feeling?

Pinoys take pride in being good lovers. But if recent studies are to be believed, we've lost that lovin' feeling, baby!

SWS says 7 out of 10 (71%) adult Filipinos would choose a lifetime partner who loves him/her more, while 28% would choose a lifetime partner whom he/she loves more. That preference was dominant in all areas and classes. Well, that may not exactly show diminishing capacity to love, us Filipinos may just be a pampered lot.

The NSCB compiled love related statistics that show that between 1980 and 2000, the proportion of married persons has dropped by about 5 percentage points. On the other hand the number of divorced/separated has doubled over the same time period. And the proportion of women who are no longer living together or are separated, has almost doubled between 1993 and 2008.

All this may data point to the Filipinos losing their traditional institutions like marriage and family. As to the Pinoys capacity to love, that is stronger than ever. In fact, what the stats do not show is that Pinoys all out of love only to rebound quickly and fall in love again. That is why tax authorities will run after motels and restaurants this Valentine’s Day.

Love formula worked for me

A mathematical formula devised by an Australian mathematician predicts the time to fall in love. The equation called the "Fiancee Formula" was created by Professor Tony Dooley works by factoring in the age at which you start looking for a spouse and the absolute oldest age you would consider getting married.

"Applying maths to matters of the heart is always a dangerous prospect. In human life when you're dealing with emotions you have to think much harder," the professor said. "But if you want to work out the right moment to start getting serious, this actually gives you a mathematical framework to think about it." He claims a success rate of almost 40 per cent.

The formula goes as follows:

1. Choose the oldest age by which you want to get married, for example, 39. Call this 'n'.

2. Decide the earliest age at which you'll start to consider a potential spouse, for example, 20. This age becomes 'p'.

3. Subtract 'p' from 'n' (39 - 20), then multiply the result by 0.368. This equals 6.992.

4. Add this to your minimum age.

This formula worked for me almost to the day. In my younger years I thought I should not reach 40 before getting married, so my 'n' was 39. At 29, I realized that the lady who's now my wife is the really the one for me. My 'p' is 29. Subtracting 'p' from 'n' gives 10. Multiply this by 0.368, the result is 3.68. Add this to 29, equals 32.68. Going by the formula my wedding should have been 8 months and 4.8 days after my birthday 32nd. I got married 5 days early.

White hair chronicles XX - death and reunion

This past weekend I met old friends from two different chapters in my life. The two vastly different reasons for the occasions are becoming recurring themes for my white hair chronicles. They always remind me of my graying hair.

An office mate from my first job lost her year long battle with cancer. She was a comadre, a very close friend, a confidante. She was a vibrant, colorful personality, definitely a character that you will never forget. When we learned about her diagnosed condition last year, friends and colleagues immediately offered prayers for her quick and full recovery. For a good part of the year, the prayers seemed to work. She regained her strength, her hair and her zest for life. But cancer is such a traitorous disease. It came back to attack her other organs. In the end, her illness may have claimed her mortal body but we, her friends who had a sort of reunion at her funeral wake, know her faith and spirit are unbowed.

Still on reunions - Facebook has brought together my elementary school classmates. A classmate who had lived in Texas for more than half of her life flew into town. She isn't the shy, innocent, prepubescent girl that we knew anymore. She metamorphosed into a sophisticated, articulate, tennis playing mom who can fix flood soaked homes DIY style. Another classmate, who we remember to be another shy girl, has a rather winsome smile and intriguingly fairer complexion in her profile photo. Facebook updates, however, can never be enough. We had to meet in person. And so we did. And we're glad we did.

Thirty plus years may add white hairs and 60 pounds (kilos to some). It may ravage our bodies. But we, my comadre and my batchmates, no matter what, will always stay forever young.