While we're not looking

On January 30, this cute administration gushed over what it called a better-than-expected economic growth as gleaned from its own official statistics. The government’s economic managers claimed the results were  "respectable" compared to its Asian peers. The 4th quarter growth of 4.5% exceeded official estimates of 3.6-4.4%, pulling up the full-year result to 4.6% where the target range was 4.1-4.8%.

But wait, while we were not looking, the government has revised downward the economic expansion it proudly screamed, with officials saying they "overestimated" economic numbers. Now they say the gross domestic product in the 4th quarter was only at 2.9%, from 4.5% that they originally announced. Because of this downward revision, growth in 2008 was ony at 3.8%, much lower than 4.6% growth originally reported.

They trumpeted the 4.5% in the headlines. Expect the lower 2.9% to be buried deep inside the business pages. I wonder how they will spin it.

Hopeless PAG-ASA II

Two and a half weeks after declaring that the rainy season is here and still without not a drop of rain, the two hottest days of the year came in succession last Monday and Tuesday to further burn PAG-ASA's reputation. Perhaps reeling from heat stroke, the PAG-ASA boldly proclaimed that Wednesday will be the hottest. Wtf!@#$%^&*() PAG-ASA making another prediction?

The weather gods must be angry. They must be punishing the PAG-ASA because Wednesday was cloudy and in fact it rained in Metro Manila. They were enough to cool Metro Manila and again make PAG-ASA terribly wrong. PAG-ASA = FAIL! Utterly hopeless.

Hopeless PAG-ASA

When typhoon "Emong" hit land early this month, the Philippine Atmospheric, Geophysical and Astronomical Services (PAG-ASA) chief weather forecaster said, “Let us be prepared, It is the start of the storm season in the Philippines.” The welcome rains came but not in torrential downpour to quench the scorched earth. So a day after, he made another statement - “The rains may be here, but it’s too early to say goodbye to summer.” Wtf!!@#$%^&*.

But less than a week later, PAG-ASA said six more storms are expected to hit the country between now (May 12) and July. The following day it declares that the rainy season is officially here. But the summer heat persisted with a devilish vengeance, but PAG-ASA claims that heat during rainy season is normal. Wtf!@#$%^&* again.

The end of May nears, it's now two and a half weeks into the rainy season and we have not had a drop of rain. For the six-storms-before-July prediction to be true, PAG-ASA must now be doing the rain dance and singing their lungs out offkey, praying for six storms in June. I remember the joke about the predicted storm that did not come because "masama ang panahon". Now PAG-ASA can claim the the storms thid not come because they did not like the hot Manila weather.

Correct weather forecasts are important in a country where 40% of the national product comes from agriculture. Farmers need to know when they can start to plant, to take advantage of the rains. I know weather forecasting is difficult, but the PAG-ASA versions are way off. Amanda Pineda (PAG-ASA-A, the Tessie Tomas character in Champoy) gave more accurate forecasts. And the real PAG-ASA's forecasts are funnier.

White Hair Chronicles I

I have more than my fair share of white hairs thus I look older than my actual age. Here are instances when people thought I am much older.

I used to accompany my son on field trips. I noticed that all other parents were in their late 20s or early 30s. These other parents always had a respectful 'po' and 'opo' when talking to me. They keep on addressing me as 'sir'. It does not help that my son is the youngest son in his batch and could actually be my grandson IF I had a child at 16, AND that child had his own by 16.

So I tried to mingle with parents who looked to be in the same age demographics as I am. There was this man who had the same gray like mine. Aha, Ok, I thought to myself, this man is around my age. Then he said, "My daughter is ill. So I had to take the boy this trip. Apo ko na yan. (He's my grandson) pointing to a boy playing with my son. "Ikaw, pang-ilang apo mo na yan?", he asked me, thinking my son is my grandson. Argh, I am now a member of the grandfathers' row? But I was only 40 then, he was 57. Either I looked 57 at 40, or he was 40-looking 57.

Swine flu victims, or how Pinoys manage to find humor in sex scandals

Trust the Pinoy to find humor in everything. Psychologists say that it is one of our coping mechanism. So in the current talk of the nation, we expect jokes, puns , and play on words, to surface over the hurricane of a scandal that hit Katrina. Some of the ones I heard lately:

1. The videos were taken by a hayden kho-mera (hidden camera). 
2. The female star will change her name to Katina Halinghing.
3. One episode's apt title is "Ang Aircon", because the camera focused on the aircon and not on the lovers.
4. The first Pinoy victims of the swine flu are Katrina and Maricar, kasi binaboy sila.
5. The Vicky episode features a Belo-job.
6. If Maricar loses acting jobs because of the scandal, she can always be a racehorse jockey, she rides well, magaling mangabayo.